Dear passenger in 29D,
If you are tired of me bumping you please do not lean half your body in the aisle. Also when you stretch your leg across the aisle I will trip on it, bump it or tag it with the cart! I actually feel this is your own fault!
Dear Lady with a small child holding a baby,
I understand you all have to pee, I really do! See here is the thing you do not have an actual protection bubble around you. The bathroom does not hold special powers to stop turbulence! Soooo if the seatbelt sign is on you are not safe even if you have to pee! By law I have to tell you the seatbelt sign is on after that you are on your own. No I can not tell you it is ok to be up! Even if you ask 12 times and tell me how bad you all have to go.
Dear passenger in26C,
I am sorry you were one of the last ones on the plane. I understand you really want there to be a spot for your bag! There just isn't. When I tell you this and you simply leave your bag in the middle of the aisle and sit down this is not ok!
Dear Lady who is clearly on drunk and on some drugs,
Please do not poke the passenger next to you! He does not actually like you randomly poking and touching him. Also do not sneak in the Lav with your 300 pound boyfriend! This is frowned upon by all. And to be honest I am not sure how you even fit in there! GROSS,GROSS,GROSS! For the record we did not serve these 2 any alcohol!
Dear angry flyer,
I am sorry we are on a ground stop due to air traffic control! I realize this is not fun for you. Yes Jetblue and Southwest are on a hold too. This is not just a problem here. It is completely out of our hands! I know you hate my airline. If I am being honest you are not actually my favorite passenger right now either. In fact I am really wishing you had flown with Jetblue and were complaining to them multiple times right now. The truth is only one plane can be in a spot at one time.
One last helpful hint for all~
If you bring it you sling it! If you bring a bag on board you need to be able to lift it. Even if you are a girl, a grandma, pregnant, hurt, short or just plain lazy. I can not lift all your bags! My back would break and the company will not cover this injury. Before you get all offended there is another option.... CHECK IT! Problem solved!
