So here is the deal... 99% of the crew I work with are AMAZING! I mean instant friends for life, nicest, hardest working people you will ever meet! These are not the people we are going to discuss in this post. I am talking about that special 1%. These people are a whole other animal! Some of you will be surprised to hear it is only 1% because the awful just radiates and ruins it for everyone! We all have our NO FLY LIST of crew members we do not ever care to work with again! There are people who are notorious for being awful and when I finally fly with them I just silently nod my head and think awwww I heard about you bring on the crazy!When passengers hug me and tell me they are sorry I have to work with such a mean nasty person and ask how they can write them up... there is a problem! Being the mature person that I am I will make faces to the passengers as the other attendant turns away. Huge wide eyes or rolling the eyes works well. This has 2 results, first the passenger now loves me and realizes I am not on board with the other persons shenanigans and second I am in this with them we are now a team trying to survive the crazy together. So here are a few examples of nonsense over the last few months. These are all real true stories as I can not even make this stuff up! I am not a wizard! This is not all from one flight and names have maybe been changed to protect the crazy.
When introduced to fellow crew member and they say their name is Mrs. D. Yes she wants everyone same age, older, younger, passengers all the everybodys to call her Mrs. D . This my friends is a red flag! So we move on to the flight. She is literally the slowest person I have ever worked with! She is on the food cart in front of me and I am working the beverage cart with another girl. At one point I leaned down to get something at the same time as her and I touched her. She proceeded to angrily tell me to BACK UP at least 3 rows from her. No problem! I also had to ring up about half of her orders because she just was so overwhelmed. So we finally finish, and at some point later in the flight I pass my her in the aisle. She is a larger woman so as we passed it is a bit of a squeeze. Mrs. D comes into the galley and starts yelling ( I am not even kidding YELLING at me) IF YOU BUMP INTO ME ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO SERIOUSLY LOSE IT ON YOU!!!!! I look at her and say " What? Are you serious?" Mrs.D " YES I AM SERIOUS YOU BUMPED INTO ME TWICE NOW AND IT BETTER NOT HAPPEN AGAIN OR ELSE!" Me " Do you think I am bumping you on purpose we just passed in the aisle..." Mrs.D angrily and still yelling" I AM KIDDING LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE!!!!" Me " Got it" make the what even face and avoid this crazy for the rest of the flight! Also I have decided if I ever fly with her again I am going to make only her call me Mrs. G I am quite confident this will go over well!
Sometimes you read the crazy wrong this is always a little surprising when they seem great and end up wack! So I am flying a 2 day trip with this girl who seemed super nice when we met. So sitting on the jumpseat and she never I mean NEVER stops talking! This in itself is fine. However she is telling me the craziest stories and half way through everyone of them she explains she is writing a book and maybe I should just read the rest of the story there. Then stops and starts a new story that is equally confusing and again stops and says I can read it in this book someday. Literally 497 times she mentions this book! She is also concerned she may have dementia because she sometimes forgets peoples names. I assure her this happens to a lot of people and that I too have a hard time with names. She assures me this is more than that and she may have it. As the days go on she gets stranger she is extremely paranoid and thinks everyone is out to get her. She puts lots of stickers on her car some with the names of other cities and changes them often so no one following her will know what city she lives in. She tells me the people you may know feature on Facebook is people from the plane who are looking you up and stalking you! I explain I am pretty sure it is people who you have mutual friends with and they think you might know them too... Nope for her it is just passengers looking her up... People for 12 hours each day I had to endure this nonsense! Also after this trip I am pretty sure she either forgot to take her meds or may actually have dementia! Again she was the sweetest! Just completely WACK!
One lady hated I mean HATED the other guy we were flying with! She proceeded to nonstop for the entire 5 hour flight explain all the reasons she hated this guy. About every third story would include a situation where she was giving him a ride somewhere or going out with him somewhere. Then right back to how much she hates him and how crazy he is. Apparently they fly all the time together. Also they write each other up all the time to get the other in trouble. I am not sure what even was going on there! I do not want to know! I was so thankful to get off that flight! Thank God they are from another base and I will probably never have to endure that ridiculousness again!
When you meet the flight attendants you have heard horror stories of for YEARS and they do not disappoint! I have heard how they have made people cry and others are just afraid! I assume these stories can not possibly be true and yet I know they are. I am super easy going! I will do whatever and LOVE my job! However if you feel the need to Yell at me for setting a glass down on the counter to pull the bin out to put it away or giving a passenger a drink when you feel we do not have time. I will stop you right there. See here is the thing, I am a grown up. I do not need you to scream at me for well anything. If you have an issue use your big girl words in your indoor voice. Just NO! The look on their faces when I don't allow them to bully me is priceless! This momma has no time for that nonsense and in most cases they then back down when they realize I am not going to play!
