Rules to live by on the plane

Safety-
A few helpful hints from your girl in blue. Here is the truth Flight Attendants do not enforce rules to be bossy. I know shocking right? We have to comply with both airline rules and federal regulations. We can and will be fined if we do not enforce these things. Some seem petty and small and some are obvious, but ALL must be followed. Here are a few reasons why we have certain rules.  If I was explaining it to small children I would say because you will die!!!! LOL! So here is the expanded explanation.

1. Your bags can not block the space at your feet. Even if you don't mind! Or be in the aisle. Yes people sometimes just drop their bag in the aisle and walk away and are annoyed and confused as to why this is not ok. So here it is if we  have to evacuate you are not going to be able to get out if there are bags blocking your way. It may be dark or smokey and your best shot is a clear path. So stow your bag!

2. Unplug from the outlets for take off and landing. Think about it if that cord is entangled in your legs and there is an evacuation you could trip. I am pretty sure it will be ok for the 5 minutes of taxi and take off for you to unplug.

3. Remain seated during turbulence... Even if you have to go to the bathroom. There is not actually a magic bubble around you that makes it ok. Not only can you hurt yourself but you could also become a projectile yourself and hurt others. We are required to tell you the seatbelt sign is on. We can NOT say it is ok to be up or we will be fined and if you hurt yourself the first thing out of your mouth will be "but they said it was ok"... So Yes you can go but NO I did not say it was ok. This is usually a long back and forth with the passenger saying but I have to go and me saying the seatbelt sign is on, so can I go? I have to tell you the seatbelt sign is on. But I really have to go so is it ok? UGGGG

4. Put your mask on before helping others. This is another important one. There is a little thing called hypoxia. So if you are flying at 35,000 feet the effects will take approximately 30sec. -1 min. and you will no longer be able to put your own mask on. SOOOO make sure you put your mask on, then your kids! Also hold on because the Captain will need to get the plane to 10,000 ft as quick as possible. This will make the air breathable even with out it being pressurized.

Here are a few more that are not necessarily safety but still need to be followed.

1. Do not hand me your bag of throw up! I mean not ever! That is gross! I don't know you, you may have the plague for all I know and even if you don't, puke is GROSS!!! You need to put it in the lavatory trash. I can not put it in the galley trash because that is our kitchen and we serve the food and drinks in that area. It is not sanitary. Just use some common sense here would you want to be handed a bag of puke? This same rule applies for your babies diaper. I do NOT want to touch that either! Nope not ever!

2. If you smell like stink PLEASE for all that is good put some deodorant on! Some of you are rank. We are for sure judging you! The smells I have been subjected to are just wrong!

3. If you stretch your legs out in the aisle this is fine. However I may trip on them. It is like a tricky maze trying to get through the aisle add a night flight and forget it. You do not need to give me dirty looks or yell at me. There is only one way up and down that row and you are blocking it. Also there is a good chance I am going to nail you with the cart. I can't see over the top of it so if your leg, head or arm are hanging way over... I do feel bad and will apologize. But honestly some of this is on you.

4. Do not walk around the plane with no shoes on. It is gross! I am pretty confident it is not water on the floor of the lavatory. Oh and if you poo or pee all over the seat please for all that is good wipe it up!